So, That is What is Happening!

Email from a Friend

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves?

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick.

The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.

This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.

Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee!

Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

*THIS IS NOT A HOAX*. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

*WARN YOUR FRIENDS!*

*P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

**PPS. Since someone stole my boobs last year, I broke down and joined the gang. I'm not sure whose boobs I got, but they are beautiful!! Thank you!!

My turn-5 Things

Tug had this up at her site. It's fun and easy!! Just my style!!


1. If you had a chance to go back in time and live in another era, what era would be and why?

I don't want to go too far back. I enjoy electricity, running water, indoor plumbing. I have always loved the clothes from the 30's and 40's. Maybe closer to the 40's.


2. What's one thing a person can do to make you instantly dislike them?

Make a racist or mean comment to someone in front of me.


3. If you could pick one meal/food of your choice to eat as much as you want and never get fat or suffer any health consequences from it, what meal/food would you pick?

Anything Italian. Just keep it comin'folks!!


4. What t.v. show do you watch that you're embarrassed to admit to?

I'm not embarrassed to admit it, but Not a Grampy hates it. Big Brother! I like them all. Watching these supposed adults act like complete idiots. Make the comments they make, while being filmed 24/7 is hysterical. I can just imagine what happens when they get back home to their families, jobs, friends...Idiots!


5. What celebrity are you embarrassed to be attracted to?

I don't think there is a clebrity that I am attracted to. I mean, what would be the point? It's not like I am ever going to get the chance to meet them or anything. So why even pretend? But, since it says I have to pick someone....Tom Cruise. If I had to be attracted to anyone, he is one I would be embarrassed about. I mean come on, has he not gone totally nuts? Wacko? Beserk??



So there you go - anyone going to steal this?

I stole this from Tug, who took it from Miss Ann. If you want to play along, let me know in the comments and I will stop by and visit!

1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? WTF, where's my wine.

2. Do you trust all of your friends? I used to, until this past July.

3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love? I did that for 12 1/2 years. Military tends to move you around a lot!!

4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Of course, sometimes the reason doesn't make sense. That is why we have wine.

5. Can you make a dollar in change right now? Only if you accept debit cards.

6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor? I don't think any of my friends would be good doctors. Well, maybe they would be good but I can't think of one that would be the best..

7. Are you afraid of falling in love? No.

9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? We lost #8 somewhere. But yes, every now and then an old boyfriend from Florida pops into my mind.

10. What’s your most favorite scar? Definitely the one my sister gave me on my arm when I was trying to hold her off with a kitchen chair!

11. When was the last time you flew in a plane? Thanksgiving 2007 to Washington State.

12. What did the last text message you sent say? I don't text

13. What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex? Patience, sense of humour, more patience and bringing me wine.

14. Fill in the blank. I love ________. Not a Grampy.

15. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future? Raise the 1.34 million needed to keep the agency I work for open.

16. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call? My kids, then the nearest winery.

17. How many kids do you want to have? Just the two I have already given birth to, thank you very much. There is a reason I stopped at two, didn't want three.

18. Would you make a good parent? Well, if I wouldn't it is too late now. I do think I am a better grandparent!

19. Where was your favorite picture taken? On my wedding day, at the beach with Not A Grampy.

20. What’s your middle name? Ann

21. Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? How many more questions are there?

22. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be? The one thing I would change would create havoc. I wouldn't have gotten married the first time, but then I wouldn't have had my children, who wouldn't have given me great grandchildren, I wouldn't have moved to Florida, gotten divorced, met Not a Grampy...see, the whole space time continuum thing would just collapse.

23. Who was or will be the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding? The first one, can't remember it has been blocked from my memory. To Not a Grampy, my MIL.

24. What are you wearing right now? Short sleeved dress, heels (hey it's Florida, mid 80's today!!).

25. Righty or Lefty? Righty

26. Best place to eat? Carrabbas Italian Grill

27. Favorite jeans? Any pair that come in tall sizes. I'm tall and need the length

28. Favorite Animal? Dolphins, dogs, cats, squirrels, almost all.

29. Favorite juice? Tomato

30. Have you had the chicken pox? Yup, and the mumps and the measles.

31. Have you had a sore throat? Of course, I have sinus issues

32. Ever had a bar fight? Nope

33. Who knows you the best? My dad

34. Shoe size? 10

35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? Both

36. Ever been in a fight with your pet? Yup, but he still gets the last bark

37. Been to Mexico? Aww...Cabo....

38. Did you buy something today? Coffee for the office, we were OUT!!!

39. Did you get sick today? Not yet, but it is still early.

40. Do you miss someone today? Do you mean with my car?

41. Did you get in a fight with someone today? See #39, but I am PMSing.

42. When is the last time you had a massage? Wow, two years ago. I am way overdue. Valentines Day is coming, think I will get myself one from Not a Grampy!! Thanks for the reminder!!

43. Last person to lie in your bed? Me and Not a Grampy and Dog

44. Last person to see you cry? Dog

45. Who made you cry? Nobody, it was a commercial on TV. and yes, I cry at the National Anthem too.

46. What was the last TV show you watched? The Sarah Connor Chronicles! Love that show!!

47. What are your plans for the weekend? Sit by the pool and veg. (it is going to be in the 80's all week here! )

48. Who do you think will repost this? Hard to say, it has been wandering around. But be sure to let me know and I will check it out.

49. Who was the last person you hung out with? SIL, BIL, Not A Grampy, Dog, Daughter and Grandkid#2

50. If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY, what would you say? I asked him last time so this would be a new one for me!!

One of the Cool Kids!

Avitable did this cool meme thing. Then Miss Britt did one and since I want to be one of the COOL kids, I did it also. Only I have no photoshop skills, I don't even own photoshop, so...get over it.

Here is my house (the one in the red box):

Now, as you can see I have solar panels on the roof, I like my pool a calming 92 degrees all year. With all the trees it is kind of hard to see, but it is screened in which prevents the damn wasps from getting me, but the no see-ums still manage to eat me alive.

Oh look, I think I am sitting out there with a glass of wine!

I do happen to know all of my neighbors. The house at the lower part of the screen is owned by a very nice lady who likes to party with us. The house next to mine, upper part of the screen is owned by a couple our age who have three dachshunds who bark all day and all night. They work nights at a local gambling establishment and the dogs have doggie doors that allow them access from their screened pool area.

I see the neighbors across the street have company again. Oh look! The other neighbor across the street finally mowed her weeds down.

This photo is courtesy of my local property appraisers website.

So I hope everyone enjoys!

Blogging Tips Meme

I've been tagged by Blue at her new blog page for this meme. I like this one, especially being new to this blogging thing myself.





It’s very simple. When this is passed on to you, copy the whole thing, skim the list and put a * star beside those that you like. (Check out especially the * starred ones.)

Add the next number (1. 2. 3. 4. 5., etc.) and write your own blogging tip for other bloggers. Try to make your tip general.

After that, tag 10 other people. Link love some friends!

Just think– if 10 people start this, the 10 people pass it onto another 10 people, you have 100 links already!

1. Look, read, and learn. *****
http://www.neonscent.com/

2. Be, EXCELLENT to each other. *****
http://www.bushmackel.com/

3. Don’t let money change ya! ****
http://www.therandomforest.info/

4. Always reply to your comments. ****
http://chattiekat.com/

5. Blog about what you know & love. **
http://sugar-queens-dream.blogspot.com/

6. Alt tag your images for added search engine exposure. **
http://fracas.wordpress.com/

7. Blogging is supposed to be fun, Don't let it stress you! *
http://www.where-was-i.com/

8. Don't be afraid to comment on other bloggers sites!
http://www.notagranny.com/

I tag :
Basenjimom


My Hero Wears Combat Boots

Ex Hooter Girl

and my other friend Sheila with her new blog page What the..? !!

oh don't forget one of the best recipe sites...OMG She has Tiramasu, The Pioneer Woman Cooks!

I know it says to tag 10 people, but that is a lot and a lot have already been tagged...(whine, whine, wine, wine)

My First Meme..

Sheila tagged me with the meme below. I wish I could figure out 5 people who haven't done this yet. From what I have seen lots of you have. Plus, I am not real sure about the correct meme etiquette. Do you just name people, or should they be people you have kind of gotten to know, have the same interests...hmm.. guess this will stay in draft form for a little bit longer!


INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:


1. It's A Blog Eat Blog World

2. More Random Than Average

3. Bluepaintedred

4. Seriously

5. Not Your Typical Granny


Next select five people to tag:

Things in Your Head

The Daily Bitch

Not Winning Mother of the Year

My Hero Wears Combat Boots

Army Mom Times Three

THEN answer the following Questions:

What were you doing 10 years ago?

Sheesh, how many bottles of wine ago was that? I think we were moving from Kodiak, Alaska to Florida. Oh yes, we were doing the drive from hell across the country. (not recommended for those faint of heart)

What were you doing 1 year ago?

Still recovering from that drive you had to remind me of. And probably laying by the pool, reading a book and drinking wine.


Five snacks you enjoy:

Yogurt

Fruit (especially grapes, fermented)

wine

Doritos

Ice Cream

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

Does this include those songs where you make up the lyrics because you can't understand all the words? Oh well here goes

99 Bottle of Beer on the Wall

Row Row Row Your Boat

Happy Birthday

Oh come on, who really knows all the words? All we really know is the chorus.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

Air Condition the tiki bar out back ( I'm a millionaire I can waste electricity if I want to!)

Take a month long cruise (and have the fancy, schmanzy room with the butler and all)

Buy a winery so I have my own wine all the time!! Woo Hoo

Buy the grandchildren a swing set at their house, not here

Add a Master Bedroom Suite to the house (I really want a walk-in closet)

Five bad habits:

Diet Coke

I don't do anything else that I consider bad...hmm..nope nothing

Five things you like doing:

Diet Coke

Diet Coke with rum

Wine

Sunbathing

Going on Cruises! You can do all of the above on a cruise!!

Five things you would never wear again:

Fluffy handcuffs

CFM Shoes ( if you don't know what those are, you don't deserve to know)

knee socks

plaid

dog collar (with the knee socks that is)

Five favorite toys:

Do you really want to go there? Okay..

my corkscrew

my wine glasses

my laptop

my new phone that will have Internet access, contacts, calendar, all the toys.

new boobies (hey they are fun for the whole family)