You're Not Better Than Me

"You’re Not Better Than Me"

Winner of the National Coalition Aganst Domestic Violence (NCADV)
2008 “Breaking The Silence in Song” Theme Song Competition,
written and performed by award winning singer, songwriter and activist

Ellen Bukstel

This powerful and haunting music is the backdrop to a beautifully choreographed black and white photo study representing women and children who are victims of domestic violence

You're Not Better Than Me

©2005 words and music by Ellen Bukstel

She woke up her little boy In the middle of the night

Battered and afraid she wouldn’t survive another fight

Her husband said I’m sorry as his hand held the knife

She swore it’s the last time he threaten her life

She said..You’re not better than me

Why did it take me so long to see

Her favorite photograph torn and scattered on the floor

Smiling faces trying to hide their private war

She packed a bag to leave and find a safer place to go

On the kitchen table she left him a note

It said..You’re not better than me

Why did it take me so long to see

She learned to cry without making a sound

Pretending to be happy when her little boys around

But he can see the pain his daddy left behind

The kind that won’t fade from her body and her mind

Hands are not for hurting,

She teaches her son

She says...when you grow into a man,

Don’t hurt the ones you love

She tried to take her little boy far away from home

Violence is all they had known

Her son he said I’m sorry as his hand held the gun

He swore it’s the last time his momma will have to run

He said..You’re not better than me

Why did it take me so long to see

I‘m not a victim, I have dignity

You’re not better than me

You’re not better than me

You’re not better than me

© 2008 Ellen Bukstel / All Rights Reserved

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes

We held an amazing event this past weekend. 88 men decorated and wore women's shoes to help raise awareness about domestic violence in a fun and unique way.

There were feathers...

There were bows

There were feathers & bows

And there was a winner!

God I wish my legs looked like that...and yes, it is a man!

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Nationwide October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

One out of Four females will be a victim of violence sometime in her life.

One out of Four people.

Why is that acceptable? Why are we allowing women to continue to be victimized by someone who claims to love them?

In a single day last year, domestic violence programs served more than 53,000 adults and children in the United States.

On September 27, 2007 the National Census of Domestic Violence Services (NCDVS) collected a national, unduplicated count of adults and children who received life-saving services from domestic violence programs across the United States. During the 24-hour survey period 53,203 adults and children received services, including:

• more than 16,000 Americans sough refuge in emergency shelters;
• over 8,600 who lived in transitional housing facilities; and
• nearly 28,000 who received non-residential services such as counseling, legal advocacy and children's support groups.

In addition, more than 20,000 calls were answered by local, state and national crisis hotlines in that 24 hour period, amounting to more than 14 calls a minutes.

All of these life saving services were provided despite almost 70% of domestic violence programs operating with less than 20 paid staff. Although, there were more than 7,700 requests for services that were unmet because of lack of funding or lack of staff.

The agency I work for participated in this survey last year and again this year. Our numbers for that 24 hour period were up, I suspect when the report comes out in January 2009 we will be seeing a tremendous increase nationwide.

When are we finally going to say enough is enough?